I went for a jog in the evening. Just wanna find some activities to occupy my time. In the end, I walk all the way. I feel so giddy, so tired after the jog. I'm so lousy and weak. At night, he called me and we chat. He gave me a new schedule. He wanted me to wake up everyday at 8am and sleep at 10.30pm with him. Healthy lifestyle for me and also he can accompany me to chat till I sleep. He ordered me to drink 6 cups of water!! So much!!! B, I will obey your instructions and be guai :)
Wah, b, u changed your password, I remember I told ya I wanted to blog my feelings at your blog and you said "NO" because you don't want to see me sad and told me you wanted to change the password to prevent me from coming, I thought you were kidding and you really did it!!! Haha, luckily ah your new password is easy to guess. Try harder next time. :)
Day 1 (12 June) :
This day is a hell day for me. I keep holding my handphone beside me just to wait for his call and sms. Making sure my handphone's ringtone is on, full batt etc. Keep checking my handphone to see whether there is any message sent by him. In the afternoon, he called me to tell me he has already settled down. I cried when I talk to him. I keep crying and telling him I miss him. When I bath, I cried. When I play my sim3, I cried too. Whatever I do, I cry because I can't help myself to stop thinking about him. He said he gonna call me at 9.30pm so I camp for his call. I cried when I picked up his call. He is always the optimistic while I'm always the pesstimtic.
But this time round, by his tone, I can feel that, he really miss me alot and his home and he keep 'haiz-ing' here and there, telling me he hate army life. I should be the one comforting him but, as usual, I'm always the cry baby one, crying here and there. He told me he really miss me. I always cry real hard after hearing this. He told me he gonna miss me for this 2 days as I'm going to genting tomorrow, I cry again because I also will miss him. When we ended our conversation with our 3 usual sentence, I cry ever harder.
Day 2 (13 June) :
The day I have to go genting. I woke up at 5 something by mum to prepare. To my surprise, he still managed to call me before leaving my house. I thought my feeling was 'ok' already but I still cry when I talk to him. He told me he can't sleep because he really miss me alot and home. Whenever he think of me, he will feel like crying too. Same as me. He told me, the sergeant ask if he is ok in the middle of the night because he saw him still awake on the bed. When he told me this, I can picture this scene in my mind, which make me wanna cry. Because he is like suffering inside. Once again, we ended with our 3 usual sentence. I cried. He told me to take care while going genting. I promised him.
During the trip, I cried when I listen to our songs, videos. I keep hearing the songs we sang just to hear his voice and use it to accompany me while my trip to genting. B, the song 'Wu ding' sang by us really very nice. I gave my mum hear, she also say nice. B, I'm looking forward to sing the jay version 'Wu ding' rather than the Jacky wu with you. Mum keep asking about him. I try to avoid as much as possible to prevent myself from crying in front of them. I told them I wanna to get marry at age of 25. Told them lots of stuffs about us. Dad and mum keep smiling away because of the way I answered. You know my mum always like to joke about you and me.
When we reached the temple, mum suddenly sounds very panic, and quickly whisper to me.
Her: Ehs! come here already still don't want to help him pray ah? Faster go and take the incense sticks and help ah bao pray.
Me: (*still blur blur looking at people praying)
Me: ORH! YA HOR! (*faster get my sticks and starts praying) bla bla bla
Dinner time, I eat very little. My stomach gets upset easily when I'm sad. No choice, if I force myself, I will feel like vomiting. I hear screaming from the people in the roller coaster, I screamed with them to let me feel better. Night time, I can't sleep because he is always there to make me fall asleep by chatting. Without his voice, I really cmi.
Day 3 (14 June) :
Lack of sleep. I can feel my eyes are burning. Today, we gonna play at the outdoor and the indoor. I play real hard. My last stop of the day, movie 'Blood'. Watching movie make me remind of him again. He is always beside me but for now, he is not. I try to stay cool and stop thinking about him and continue to concentrate on my show. I keep telling myself, I have to enjoy and stop thinking about him first, if not I will be damn damn shag. Let me take a rest. Let me play until I damn damn tired so that I can sleep easily at night. I did it.
B, I bought you a bear with famous amos cookies in it. You said that you need some plushie to decorate your computer's desk , so I bought you this bear to display on your computer desk. B, I also bought the same chocolate for you like last time. This time round, it is written as 'I miss you' unlike the first one 'I love you'.
Day 4 (15 June):
Yes. Going back singapore. I always find that the journey back home is always faster but I don't know why it is so slow today. Perhaps I can't wait to hear his voice. During the journey, I keep having negative thoughts. 'Why is my life so lifeless?', 'Why I feel so empty! I feel like I'm just like a empty shell with no soul in it'. When I reached singapore it is already 8 something. Just half an hours more to 9.30pm, I believed he will call me for sure. I just can't wait to chat with him. But, somehow, I feel damn damn sick. Feel like vomiting and I feel like I'm gonna have a fever.
Once I reached home, I really feel damn sick. I quickly brush my teeth and lie on my bed to wait for his call and rest at the same time. At around 10 something, I recieved his call. He said he was so happy when he hear the line getting through and my voice. He told me he misses me damn lots and finally I'm back. I keep crying because I really miss him alot. He told me alot of stuffs on his army. He told me that his friends asked about his gf. He told them he is serious and wanna marry me. I cried because I feel happy.
His sergeant asked him some questions for survey. 'So how's you and your gf?', 'Afraid she might run away?' he told me he replied, 'No, and.... (Sorry I've forgotten. I shall let him fill this blank when he is back). Anyway, I cried when I hear his answer, touched. And, he is slowly back to his normal, his optimistic character. Cheering me up, and comforting me, asking me to stop crying because he feel so heartbroken when he hear me cry. He told me, at times when he is training, he will think of me, and will starts to lost concentration which can easily injure himself. To prevent injuries, he has to stop thinking about me because he don't want to let me worry on his safely. But sometimes, he said he will use me to give him motivation. I just feel like crying when I hear all this. So pitiful.
The 3 usual sentence, and we hanged. Immediately I feel my fever and vomiting symptom have gone. Suddenly, I feel so much better after chatting with him. I'm easy to get 'Lovesick'.
Signing off,
GF
PS: B, my mum keep telling me to tell you faster go get a passport, then when you ORD, she wanna bring you go genting
